


Reasons to Stay

by BloodRaevynn



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bastard Canon, Community: norsekink, Father issues, Gen, Loki is Maria Stark, Parent-Child Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-02-14 01:24:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2172651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodRaevynn/pseuds/BloodRaevynn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His blood may not have been spilled by Loki's own hands, but Loki still bore some responsibility for it.  Assisting your child's enemies and trying to kill his friends were not things a good parent would do.  Loki had avoided him on the battlefield, secure in the knowledge that he could look after himself.  After all, Tony was a child of Loki.  </p><p>Not that Loki would ever admit it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Norsekink Fill for a story where Loki is Tony's mom, but played seriously. There were just too many great parallels between the characters (father issues, copious amounts of snark) and potential angles to this concept not to have the makings of an interesting story. Let's see if I can pull it off.
> 
> There is a possibility that I'll end up adding pairings later (most likely Tony/Steve and/or Thor/Loki) but I'm not planning for it so it will only happen if it evolves naturally. 
> 
> This is bastard canon; meaning it's movieverse inspired with some random comics and mythology stuff all chucked in the blender and ground into a barely-recognizable mess.

* * *

 

    Loki continued to visit Midgard long after Thor and his friends had turned their attentions elsewhere; only occasionally for the first several centuries, but more frequently as his interest was piqued when the mortals' scientific development began to advance rapidly.  So it was that Loki, in the guise of one Maria Collens Carbonell, met the infamous inventor, industrialist, and playboy Howard Stark at a scientific convention.

    It had been mere chance - she'd sat down beside him at the bar of the hotel that was hosting the convention and they'd struck up a conversation, which had in turn led to Howard's bed. It might have ended there had it been the last day of the three-day convention, rather than the first, and had Maria not decided that she wanted this dalliance to continue a while longer.  Howard really hadn't stood a chance.

    Howard Stark was a charming companion, a brilliant mind - yes, human science was limited and childish in understanding compared to what Asgard was built upon, but the way Howard thought about and challenged what he knew was no less amazing.  Maria could listen to him for hours, subtly guiding him to new heights with a well placed comment or question. Marriage had certainly never been in Loki's plans, but Maria found herself eagerly agreeing to Howard's proposal, and marry him she did.

    When she got pregnant, Loki feared that the child would come out wrong, like the ones Angrboda had birthed; but Maria hadn't used Seidr in years, let alone during conception as Loki and Angrboda had, and Tony was born perfect, and - as far as Loki could tell - entirely human.  That somewhat allayed one of Loki's other fears - that Odin would come to take the child, either to live in Asgard, or to be hidden away - but not the other, far worse fear that one of Loki's many enemies would come after him for revenge.  Tony was Howard's, and with Howard he would stay, even if it meant that Maria had to leave. 

    Soon. 

    When Tony was a little older and didn't need her so much.

    When Howard decided to spend less time in his work and the bottle and more time with his son. 

    Just a little while longer...

    So Tony grew and followed in his father's footsteps, trying to capture his attention and affection.  Maria watched and encouraged and praised him, while Loki saw echoes of himself, learning Seidr as Odin once had, because he could never compete with Thor in combat. 

    The night before Tony went away to college, at the tender age of fifteen, Maria stood in the doorway of his room, silent and still, and watched him sleep.  She could leave now.  He was grown up and didn't need her.

    But she stayed; because even if Tony no longer needed her, Howard did.

    Now she looks at her husband, through the pain and twisted metal and broken glass.  The cut on his forehead leaking so sluggishly because there is no heartbeat to stir the blood; his eyes open and unseeing.  She reaches out one hand and closes them gently and strokes his beloved face, leans across the gap between their seats, pressing a gentle kiss to his still lips, then rests her forehead against his as her tears fall.

    "Thank you," Loki whispers. "Even if it wasn't perfect, you gave me so much. You gave me love, you gave me Tony, and you gave me a reason to stay with him." She pressed another kiss, this one to his forehead, before pulling away.  No matter how many centuries I live, I will never, ever forget you."

    Loki forced the door car door open and stepped out of the wreck and out of Maria's shape.  With magic he moved the car so that the passenger door hung open over the cliff leading down to the ocean below, changed the tracks on the road so that they matched the car's position, and vanished.

 

 

    Loki went to the funeral in the form of a mocking bird.  He watched his son mourn, wishing Maria could be there to hold him tight, but it was Obadiah who lay a hand of comfort on Tony's shoulder.  Loki's eyes narrowed; it was only a gut feeling, but he had never trusted that man - would not now choose to trust him with his son and Howard's company, but there was nothing he could do; he couldn't stay, not even to watch from the shadows; if an enemy found him out, Tony would be in danger. It had been a risk, staying as long as he had, even if it was worth it.  He had to trust that Tony was capable of handling anything Obadiah threw at him.

    As Tony walked away from the grave site, Loki took to the sky.


	2. Chapter 1

    'This isn't good.'  Tony thought, gritting his teeth against the pain.  His hand gripped the piece of re-bar that had punched through his already badly damaged armor - punched through him - trying to steady it so that the damage wouldn't worsen. He was pinned under debris from a collapsed building and bleeding out, his communications were down, visuals cutting in and out and, shit, was that Loki?

    Visuals cut out again, along with everything else. Tony cursed, scrabbled for the emergency release and forced the face plate open - if he was getting killed like this he was at least going to look his killer straight in the eye... and maybe spit in it too for good measure if he got the chance.

    It was Loki alright, and he was coming closer.  Loki crouched over him, inspecting the damage.

    "Shouldn't you be off helping Doom try to kill my friends?  I'm not really a threat like this."

    Loki made a gesture and Tony's armor was suddenly gone, leaving him in sweat pants and an undershirt. The debris were gone too but Tony wasn't so focused on that.

    "Whoa! What-!  Did you just disintigrate my armor? Do you have any idea how long I spent on it!?! Not to mention how much it cost!!!"

    "You can have it back when you're not dying." Loki sighed. "You Stark men and your expensive toys." There was no way that sounded almost affectionate. Really.

    "Why is it that everyone I meet these days used to know my father?"

    "Do be quiet." Loki said, carefully tearing Tony's shirt around the rebar in his side to get a better look at the wound.  "Healing is not my strongest skill; I need to concentrate."

    "Weren't you just trying to kill us?"

    "I *am* a god of chaos, you know.  This is me being unpredictable."

    "Oh good, wouldn't want to think you were acting out of character. I guess you'll drag me off to be tortured once you've finished patching me up, just to be more chaotic." Loki looked up, pinning him with his startling green eyes.

    "I swear on the lives of my children that no further harm will come to you this day." Loki intoned gravely. Tony bit back the retort that immediately sprang to mind, because he got the feeling there was nothing more meaningful Loki could have sworn on. 

    "Although," the god continued,  "this is going to hurt." 

    Loki gestured again and the rebar vanished in the same way as the armor and one of Loki's hands clamped down over the wound to staunch the bleeding.  Tony grunted and clenched his teeth against the pain.  He barely noticed the trickster god making a series of complicated gestures - he did, however, notice when the pain reduced to a dull ache.   
Loki stood abruptly and turned partially away, looking down at his own hand covered in Tony's blood, rubbing the fingers together with an unreadable expression on what Tony could see of his face. He really, really hoped Loki wasn't coming up with some dire use for that blood. 

    "Well...um...thanks for saving my life and all," Tony said starting to push himself up into a sitting position. "Now, about my armor-" Loki pushed him back down with one foot and kept him there.

    "Be a good boy and stay put; you lost a lot of blood. After the trouble I've gone to and the oath I swore, I would prefer it if you spared me the worry that you'll get your fool self killed by a Doombot because you passed out on the way back to your friends.  I'll tell them where to find you. If you don't wait here for them, I'll keep your damned armor."

    "Ooookay," Tony said slowly. "Sure. Why not."  The sounds of fighting seemed to have died down anyway.

    "Good." Loki vanished.   
  



	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This really, really shouldn't have taken as long as it did. It's not like I actually had to write the chapter or anything - I've already finished chapter 7. I'm not posting them all at once though, because I get more readers posting a chapter every few days and the comments help to inspire me, which will hopefully break me out of this rut I'm in (hint hint), plus it gives me a little time to consider whether I want to revise anything.

 

* * *

 

 

    "Where's Iron Man?" Steve asked.  Doom and fled and the Avengers had regrouped, with one noticeable exception.

    "I haven't seen him since he went after that flying canon," Clint replied.

    "He's on Porter street, by the Weissman Foundation building; or rather what remains of it." Everyone snapped around at Loki's voice. The villain was sitting non-chalantly on top of a mostly-undamaged car.  He held up his blood-stained hand and wiggled the fingers in a sarcastic wave.  "Might want to hurry."

    Simultaneously, Thor took to the air, heading in Tony's direction, and the Hulk charged at Loki, roaring in rage - Loki vanished before he reached him.

    "Iron Man, come in!" Steve yelled into his communicator, as the Hulk took out his frustration on the car.  "Tony!"  Natasha and Clint shared a worried look.

    "Let's send someone to pick up Bruce later," Natasha suggested. Clint and Steve quickly agreed and the three of them were running toward the quinjet, intent on joining their Asgardian teammate as quickly as possible, in case Tony needed to be airlifted to the nearest hospital, when Thor's voice came over the communicator.

    "Iron Man is well."  There was at least one audible sigh of relief. "It seems that my brother healed him...and also took the armor."

    "Well, that can't be good," Clint commented.

 

* * *

  
  
    Loki slowly sank his fingers into the basin of water, watching thin streamers of his son's blood curl off of them.  He could have just used magic - dismissed the blood as if it had never been - but that wouldn't have been right.  It would have wasted the blood and mocked the weight of what had happened.

  
    He'd already known that Iron Man was Tony; you couldn't spend much time in Midgard without finding out.  Loki had avoided him on the battlefield, secure in the knowledge that Tony could look after himself.  After all, he was a child of Loki.

    He rubbed his hands, watching the red dilute and turn the water faintly pink.  

    He lifted his hands from the water and let the drips fall from his fingers, once they stopped he pressed his hands dry on the towel across his lap then took up his knife and cut a stem of hvönn growing from the ground beside him.  He peeled off the leaves, dropping each in the basin, then placed the stem between his teeth as he made gestures over the water, casting a spell to strengthen his son and clean any impurities that might have polluted his blood.

    Tony's blood may not have been spilled by Loki's own hands, but Loki still bore some responsibility for it.  Assisting your child's enemies and trying to kill his friends were not things a good parent would do.  Rather than being horrified by the realization, he felt calmer than he had in a long time; the rage he had clung to so desperately had dissipated - not entirely, but enough that he could see himself more clearly.

    Loki set the stem aside and took up the basin, pouring the water into the roots of the hvönn plants around him, to strengthen them as the magic he had used them for would strengthen Tony.


	4. Chapter 3

    It was three days after Tony's injury that Loki announced his presence at the mansion by ringing the doorbell like a perfectly normal person, though Loki's observation of Midgardian ettiquette hardly prevented Hawkeye from leaning out a second floor window and pointing an arrow at him.  The standoff didn't last long, because Tony opened the door only a few moments later.

    "You might want to tell your friend to stop pointing at people and go back inside," Loki said, in a mock-concerned tone.  "I worry he might fall, leaning out with his hands full like that."

    "So you're actually giving it back?"

    "Why not?"  Loki asked. "What in the nine realms would I do with it?  It doesn't exactly match my decor."

    "We thought you might hand it off to Doom or one of your other buddies, or sell it to the highest bidder."

    "You obeyed me, so I thought to reward you," Loki said.  "But I suppose if you have no need of--"

    "Oh, I want it back alright," Tony said. "Just wondering what the catch is."

    "No catch; I just have a soft spot for obedience.  Well, that and I used your blood in a spell so I figured it would only be polite to repay you for that."

    "Should I be expecting any horrible side-effects?"

    "Oh, the spell was quite diabolical, I assure you, but it should have run its course by now."

    Tony blinked as something seemed to click.

    "So it was your doing!" He shouted, pointing.  "I was wondering why I was suddenly stone-cold sober.  You ruined a perfectly good buzz!"

    He was right, of course, a blood purification spell would certainly do that.

    "You shouldn't have been drinking right after losing that much blood anyway," Loki said coolly.  Really he had hoped Tony wouldn't take after his father in that too, having seen what the alcohol did to him.  It was something Loki would have to keep an eye on.  "Now, where do you want it?"

    "Out here is fine."  Tony crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame.

    "You won't invite me in?"

    "With all due respect and my utmost gratitude for saving my life, not even when pigs fly."

    "Damn. Now what ever will I do with those winged pigs I've been breeding?"

    "I'm sure an opportunity will arise - you might try the X-Men, most of them seem naive enough to invoke flying pigs as a condition."

    "I'll take that under advisement."  Loki gestured and the armor materialized on the lawn.  Tony whistled lowly as he looked it over.

    "Damn, I didn't realize the damage was this extensive."

    "You were a little busy bleeding to death, so it's only to be expected that some things would escape your notice."

    Tony knelt beside the armor and ran a hand over the network of cracks in the plating.

    "This is pretty much scrap, but someone could have learned a lot about my suits' capabilities from it, not to mention what someone could have reverse-engineered if they had the right skills, so thank you for bringing it back instead of taking the opportunity to potentially really screw us over.  Between that and saving my life, I guess I owe you a favor."

    "It seems you do," Loki cocked his head slightly.  "Isn't that interesting.  You will have to take better care of yourself until I collect."

    "You're awfully fixated on my well-being for an enemy," Tony observed.  Then in a mock-sappy voice:  "I didn't know you cared."

    "Don't read too much into it,"  Loki was quick to reply, and he disappeared. 


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry I kept you all waiting so long for a chapter that was already written. Depression will do that.

    It became a little difficult not to read something into it, however, after the third time Loki assisted the Avengers.

    The fourth time it happened, the Avengers called him on it.

    "If you keep helping us like this, we're going to start getting the wrong idea," Iron Man said. 

    "Mayhap it is not the wrong idea, Howardson. Brother, have you at last given up your villainous ways?"

    "Of course not," Loki scoffed. "This pitiful excuse for a sentient being destroyed my favorite pastry shop on his rampage." He gestured pointedly to the pink pastry box tucked under his arm. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to find good bearclaws? Most shops put so much sugar in the marzipan that it's completely unpalatable."

    "Uh-huh." Tony said, sounding entirely unconvinced. "And last time?"

    "Conflict of interest; he had something I needed."   

    Okay, so it wasn't so much "needed" as "wouldn't mind having on hand," but they didn't need to know that.

    "And before that?"

    "The wench took a shot at me."

    "That was a wild shot," Captain America pointed out. "You want to tell us why you were on that fire escape to begin with?"

    "Coincidence."

    "Yeah, not buying it." Hawkeye commented.

    "What about the time before that?" Captain America asked.

    "That was a legitimate act of revenge!" Loki protested. "I didn't even know you were there!" Which was completely true - he'd been enjoying dinner at a fine restaurant when the windows had exploded, covering his food in shattered glass. It wasn't until after he'd taken down the offending party that he'd noticed the Avengers.

    "You're up to something," Tony stated. "Maybe trying to lull us into a false sense of security, or make us think you've changed your ways. Whatever it is, we're going to find out."

    "Well, good luck with that," Loki said. "I have better things to do than stand around here and be interrogated."

 

* * *

 

 

    It was two weeks later when Baron Zemo tracked Loki down and asked him for his cooperation. The job was challenging but low-profile; stealing a few valuable relics from a collector - funding for some of Zemo's future plans. Some of the "less mundane" pieces in the collection interested Loki enough to participate, as Zemo knew they would. The defenses were almost formidable, the collector had some magical know-how, but they should have been in and out before anyone noticed, and there was no reason the Avengers should have gotten involved, even though they were operating practically under their noses.

    Unfortunately, Zemo had a new friend. A hot-headed young brat with some kind of energy absorption power who was certain that he could take on the Avengers because he had a Plan. Loki had heard the same line more times than he could count at this point and had paid him no mind, not even bothering to make note of his name, since he assumed the plan, whatever it was, would not involve him and would end with the kid behind bars before Loki encountered Zemo again. For now, he was only there to disable the electronic security system efficiently as, given their close proximity to the Avengers, time was of the essence.

    So they were in, quickly gathering up their targeted items, when Loki glanced through a window just in time to see the power go out across a large portion of the city. And then the storefront across the street exploded. Zemo cursed and they hurried out of the building as quickly as they could without tripping any magical booby-traps, just in time to see the Avengers arrive.

    "What have you done, you tremendous idiot!?" Loki snarled.

    "I've got this!" The kid insisted. Then they all had their hands full with angry superheroes.

    Five minutes into the battle, the kid suddenly lit up like a light-bulb. Loki looked over to see that he had gotten a grip on Iron Man and was apparently draining energy from his power source.

    And something was wrong with Tony.

    Loki reacted without a thought. By the time his mind caught up with his body he was already behind his supposed ally, burying a knife of ice into his back; the kid let go of Iron Man and fell forward, shrieking. Loki ignored him and caught Tony, lowering him carefully to the ground and reaching desperately with his magic to find out what was wrong with his son. Through the weakened energy of the reactor, Loki could just barely detect the metal fragments buried in Tony's chest, but the reactor's energy level was rising again and soon the area was beyond the reach of Loki's magic.

    "I think you will find it much more difficult to explain this one away, brother," Thor told him.

    Tony groaned and sat up, hand pressing against his chest. To one side, Captain America was attending to the kid, trying to staunch the bleeding as Natasha talked with an emergency dispatcher over her communicator. Zemo had apparently escaped.

    "I hate it when people mess with the reactor," Tony groaned.

    "Well it is kinda like a glowing bull's-eye," Hawkeye quipped. "I've been tempted to take a shot at it myself a few times."

    "Not funny, Clint," Tony said sharply as he got to his feet. He looked down at Loki, who still knelt on the ground. "Well, are you going to explain? Because seriously, I'm starting to wonder if you have a crush on me or something and it's really creeping me out."

    "Don't be ridiculous," Loki snapped as he stood up.

    "Then tell me what it is."

    "...Very well." Loki's mind worked quickly to formulate a believable lie. "But not where we might be overheard."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Far be it for Loki to actually consider telling the truth. XD


	6. Chapter 5

    They eventually settled on a nearby SHIELD warehouse. It mostly held office supplies and furniture, nothing important enough to require internal cameras, but secure enough that there was no worry of someone overhearing their conversation.

    The security guards were understandably confused when the Avengers asked to be let in, and then not to be interrupted until they were finished, but they didn't ask any questions. 

    "It is simple to explain really," Loki began, leaning against a box. "But as it constitutes a critical vulnerability, you will understand why I wanted privacy; you will too, once you hear it. You see, I am only willing to tell you because my vulnerability is also yours; or more specifically, his." He inclined his head toward Iron Man.

    "Stop beating around the bush and get to the point, Loki," Tony said, impatiently.

    "It seems that when I healed you I inadvertently bound my life to yours. If you die, I die; and vis versa."  Loki spared a glance at Thor; Thor's expression was unreadable but he made no move to interject, so he must not have noticed the lie. 

    "I have a hard time believing that," Tony replied. "For one thing, this -" he put one hand over the reactor "- keeps my heart beating, among other things. I doubt that some mystic voodoo curse would be able to override that."

    "I suppose you might be right," Loki acknowledged, filing that information away for future reference. "That probably would keep you alive. **If** you count spending your remaining years as a mindless, drooling husk _living_."  Tony looked extremely uncomfortable with that idea.

    "So how do we undo it then?"

    "I have yet to discover the means," Loki told him. "But I will not stop searching until I find it."

    "He could be lying," Natasha said. "This whole thing smells wrong. For one thing, why heal an enemy in the first place?"

    "A mere whim," Loki said, then added in an irritated tone. "One that I am quickly coming to regret." Even though lying came as easy as breathing, it took effort to say that believably. "It is not as if I am asking anything of you - I have no need of your trust or assistance. You wanted an answer and now you have it; so unless you have a better explanation that somehow implicates me in a dire plot to destroy you and everything you hold dear, I think we should all just go our separate ways."

    "Or we could arrest you," Natasha said. "That solves all our problems - keeps you out of danger and out of trouble."

    Loki considered that for a moment.

    "Well if you must," he replied, nonchalantly. "I will allow you to detain me; provided, of course, you keep Iron Man off the battlefield too."

    "Waaait a minute," Tony said. "You're being way too agreeable. Am I the only one who sees a potential issue with sending a way-too-agreeable-to-be-believed Loki into a facility full of other super-powered criminals? If he WANTS to be sent there, then that probably means it's part of a plan."

    "Unless that's just what he wants us to think," Clint pointed out. "So that we let him go, thinking that arresting him would be playing into his hands, when in fact letting him go was the plan all along."

    "But then he might have known that we would think that in which case -- ARGH!" Tony pointed an accusing finger at Loki. "Stop screwing with our heads!"

    "I hardly need to," Loki smirked. "You were doing such a fine job of it on your own."

    "So what do we do with him then?" Clint asked.

    "I will defer to your judgement," Loki said, smirking at their irritation. If they let him go, so much the better, and he was banking that aiding them and saving Tony's life twice might tip the balance in that direction. But if not, well, even if he did let them lock him up, the mortals didn't understand Seidr well enough to counter it with complete effectiveness yet; it might be a little challenging to unravel the spell-wards, but hardly beyond his abilities. He could probably use the down-time to straighten out his head anyway.

    "I'll call Fury," Steve sighed.

    Damn. Involving Fury pretty much guaranteed a cell in Loki's immediate future. He didn't let the irritation show though, instead smirking slightly as he contented himself with plotting how to best make Fury regret his inevitable decision.  

**Author's Note:**

> Incidentally, since I've been suffering from writer's block for a long time (this and most of the chapters I'll post over the next few days were written more than two years ago), I've hit on the idea of creating a skype-based ficwriter's community to give ficwriters easier access to people to beta-read their work, bounce ideas off of, help break through writers block, kick their ass when don't have a good excuse for taking so long to write that next chapter, etc. 
> 
> If you're interested, please Email me (in Profile); having a group like this might make it more likely that I'll actually finish this story someday. ^_~


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